Fete

Too Faced

2012-01-17T17:59:00.000-06:00

It is an incredibly rare occasion when I get excited over make up. I am most definitely NOT one of those girls who spends hours at the make up counter applying various shades of this and that, wiping it off with Kleenex, trying on a shade darker or a hue lighter, lingering, staring at my hand, lingering longer. I find the whole process boring and needlessly time consuming. (That's why I have my Patrick at Neiman's! He does it all for me.)

To be completely honest most of my make up comes from samples my mother passes down to me. (She, on the other hand, loves shopping for make up and can spend hours searching for THE perfect color of lipstick.) The only "make up" I spend any time researching is "skin care," ....the stuff that goes on before the color and will hopefully save me from early aging. The rest is pretty much set in stone. Same mascara since high school...Maybelline...in the pink tube, of course, NARS lip liner and lipstick (never deviate), Mary Kay under eye concealer, NARS pressed powder, NARS blush....

However, at Christmas, Sarah (my child of God and sassy cousin) had a palette of Too Faced Eye Makeup laying around. Feeling blah and colorless, I borrowed the eye makeup and found myself drawn to the color, texture and consistency. I used the makeup for the rest of my stay in McAllen and decided I would actually SPEND THE MONEY to purchase some eye makeup.

On a quick trip to Sephora I decided to make my purchase. I selected the "Natural Eye Collection" so I could have something muted for day and sparkling for the evening. And with names like "Heaven," "Sexpresso," and "Erotica," who could resist. In terms of names...they go perfectly with my NARS "Orgasm" blush. Raunchy!

The box comes with three cards lending polite suggestions for application.

Overall, I am pleased with the OVER 20 dollars I dished out and will definitely be making a future investment.

I Went Up To The Mountain

2012-01-16T10:31:00.000-06:00

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Whites Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Never Judge a Red Box By It's Cover

2012-01-15T20:07:00.000-06:00

Those who know me well can tell you I have a "strangle hold" on pre-conceived notions from time to time. They will also tell you that more often than not I have to eat my words (which is never a fun experience). I have, once again, found myself on the foolish side of a snotty notion!

Since the (semi) revolutionary inception of "The Red Box" I have assumed "The Red Box" could not possibly have anything to offer me, a seasoned movie critic (clearly).

Well, let me back up. I believe (if I am not mistaken) "The Red Box" made it's first appearance at McDonald's Restaurants nationwide. Since I rarely spend anytime (physically inside) said establishment (only in the drive through line for coffee) I never had much interaction with "The Red Box." My friends spoke highly of "The Red Box," however the movies they spoke of were more of the blockbuster Palladium type; rather than the small films with big heart of the Bijou type.

And so my erroneous, judgmental, snotty little opinion was conceived; and I was not interested in proving myself wrong.....UNTIL I was house sitting for a friend and I could not figure out how to operate cable; but seemed able to manipulate the DVD player into showing movies.

A trip to CVS pharmacy brought me face to face with my pre-conceived notion. There it was, "The Red Box." There I was, bored to tears in a house with no functional cable.

I took a deep breath and said to myself, "Patty, you WILL select a movie and you WILL give it a chance, regardless of how much money it brought in at the box office."

Much to my surprise, screens and screens of movies popped up on the monitor. And some of the choices were small, independent films I had been wanting to watch; but had missed at The Bijou (and I cancelled Netflix to save money).

I selected the following movies and highly recommend them both.

Source

"Pin-teresting"

2012-01-12T21:25:00.000-06:00

Is it just me...or does this Kitchenaid match my blog? I don't think a more attractive, more functional, more fabulous small kitchen appliance could possibly exist!

A Kajillion Channels and Nothing is On....

2011-12-20T19:19:00.000-06:00

I feel like writing today...I really do. But I fear the content matter might betray the purpose of the blog. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel particularly down. Quite the contrary. I am enjoying my holiday. (I slept in today...like a teenager. I am too embarrassed to even admit what time my eyes opened.) I have visited with some wonderful friends. I have new laminate wood floors upstairs. All in all I have nothing to complain about.

I just have that feeling of paying for over 200 channels and being excited by none of them. You know the one?

That is exactly how I feel this evening.

Therefore, I will be literally, and metaphorically, turning off the boob tube and turning on the music. I am going to crawl out of this bed, get to cleaning and cleansing, and sit in the inquiry of why I expect something else to provide my entertainment?

Frog and Toad....

2011-12-14T21:52:00.000-06:00

I remember sitting on my dad's lap reading this out loud....

Source: Modern Hepburn

Book Bucket List

2011-12-07T23:11:00.000-06:00

Rory's Reading List (or at the very least books mentioned, referenced, ravaged by Rory throughout the 7 seasons)

1984 by George Orwell
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon*
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt*
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
The Art of Fiction by Henry James
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
The Awakening by Kate Chopin*
Babe by Dick King-Smith
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath*
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney*
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley*
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer*
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger *
Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
Christine by Stephen King
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens*
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories by Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas père
Cousin Bette by Honor’e de Balzac
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
The Crucible by Arthur Miller*
Cujo by Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon *
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci -Code by Dan Brown *
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Deenie by Judy Blume
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx
The Divine Comedy by Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells*
Don Quijote by Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
Emma by Jane Austen *
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Ethics by Spinoza
Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
Extravagance by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 of The Lord of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien
Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom *
Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
Fletch by Gregory McDonald
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes*
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand*
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley*
Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen*
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate by Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck*
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald*
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Group by Mary McCarthy
Hamlet by William Shakespeare*
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry
Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
Henry V by William Shakespeare
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss*
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
Howl by Allen Gingsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
The Iliad by Homer
I’m with the Band by Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Inferno by Dante
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village by Hillary Clinton
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan*
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair*
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke*
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Love Story by Erich Segal
Macbeth by William Shakespeare *
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert*
The Manticore by Robertson Davies
Marathon Man by William Goldman
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov*
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsro by William Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka*
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway*
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and It’s Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Night by Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan*
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck*
Old School by Tobias Wolff*
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey*
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
Oracle Night by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton*
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster*
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde*
Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean*
A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier *
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
The Return of the King: The Lord of the Rings Book 3 by J. R. R. Tolkien
R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View by E. M. Forster*
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne *
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
Selected Hotels of Europe
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen – read
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus by Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Shane by Jack Shaefer
The Shining by Stephen King
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse*
S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut*
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
Songbook by Nick Hornby
The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach*
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber*
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
Time and Again by Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger*
To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee*
The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe – started and not finished
Unless by Carol Shields
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray *
Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett*
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire *
The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion*

*Completed

No * means I have not read this book and am frankly ashamed!

Source: It's Time to Read

The Return of Weight Watchers Wednesday....

2011-11-23T12:31:00.000-06:00

Oh yes! It's back! The return of Weight Watchers Wednesday. Why? Because I am 7 lbs over my lifetime goal. What? YEP! It has happened. It's okay. With the help of Weight Watchers and my own personal toolbox I am going to address this before it spins out of control.

I was really nervous about returning to Weight Watchers; not because of the "diet" idea (which it really isn't) but because they have changed their system. However, since my last time "on program" (12.2008) the advent of "apps" have made life infinitely easier! And the Weight Watchers Mobile App is so unbelievably easy it would be a crime for me NOT to track my daily eating practices!

I have come across this "pin" on Pinterest a number of times and thought I would give it a try during my first week back on program. We all know that the ever present water weight can add a few unwanted pounds to the scale. This is a nice way to get your 8 glasses of water with a little extra flavor and natural ingredients which act as a diuretic.

I had heard that dandelion root was pretty nasty so I was on the fence about including it in this diet cocktail. I was pleasantly surprised. It honestly doesn't taste like much and ends up being so diluted you can hardly detect it. It is, however, a tad expensive. A box of 30 bags cost 10 dollars. I found it at Sprouts (aka Sun Harvest) and NOT at HEB. I am juicing real lemons and using a sugar free cranberry juice which I found at both HEB and Sprouts. I am on my third day and am finding I am usually done with the bottle by mid day...but I am a HUGE water drinker.

I will dutifully report back the results! (I am wishing in a week I could look like the girl in the photo...but oh well! I am pretty good with how I look right now. I like that feeling!)

As for Thanksgiving....enjoy! It rolls around once a year. Eat until you feel satisfied; don't beat yourself up...just get back on track Friday morning!

Small Things

2011-11-03T22:41:00.000-05:00

I found this blog through Pinterest. There was a cute photo of a messy ponytail and the caption went something like, "This is the best blog for hair styles." Okay, so yes, I spent the better part of Friday night watching this total cutie show me hair tricks and styles and products and implements. And, yes, I spent the better part of the night trying to re-create her styles. A few of them worked, a few of them didn't. My hair is too long and too heavy to sport some of her precious coifs. Nevertheless, I enjoyed her articulate and detailed videos and imagine she is probably just the sweetest hairdresser a girl could have! If you like to play with your hair...or others...check out this blog. She posts about other things, as well. And she likes to share about her life and her faith...which is an added bonus. She picked up and moved to North Carolina...she got me thinkin'....????

Click here to visit her blog....

This blog is in loving memory of Sherry Taff. Sherry is a former colleague. She was a tiny woman with the biggest heart. She loved teaching students "how to learn." She had a deep impact on so many young people. She loved her family and was so proud of her husband and children. Thoughts and prayers are with her family....

There She Goes...There She Goes Again...

2011-11-01T14:40:00.000-05:00

You must always know how long to stay...and when to go. -Patty Griffin

Happy Halloween

2011-10-30T19:22:00.002-05:00

Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.

-Linus

Grace....

2011-10-28T19:35:00.000-05:00

Goal for this week....

Knockin' on Heaven's Door....

2011-10-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

In loving memory of my friend and colleague, Jon Michael Frieger....

Heaven was made for people like you. You were a kind, beautiful, genuine soul. People were at their best around you. You loved your life, your wife, your baby and your work. I am better for having known you.

The Same Thing I Want From You Today I Will Want Again Tomorrow

2011-10-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

So, you're creating the problem out of nostalgia? -Rory

The secret is out. My office is quiet. Sometimes music doesn't fulfill the silence. Sometimes it is so quiet and I am so alone that nothing but my Gilmore Girls DVDs can sufficiently fill the space. I keep two computers at my desk. One to work with (conveniently the machine issued by my employer) and the other sits behind me playing Gilmore Girls while I type my reports. I don't even bother looking at the screen any longer because I have all seven seasons practically memorized. There are times I find myself talking along with the characters....no small task considering the pace of the language.

I am currently on season 3. I like season 3...Rory is a senior and for a brief time gets on well with Paris. Lorelai is coming off the pregnancy devastation of Sherry and Christopher (a story line I am actually well acquainted with...talk about a suffocating feeling) and allows herself to accept a few dates with a guy named Alex. He owns an iron works company. She likes him so much she pretends to enjoy the great outdoors and agrees to go fishing with him. She tries to become an expert angler in a few days...with the help of Luke, of course. He brings a kiddie pool filled with fish to her house and teaches her to fish so she won't look foolish on her date. Luke, of course, is busy dating Nicole...so it's okay. After impressing Alex with her "fisher-woman" skills she accepts an overnight trip with Alex to New York. Sookie and Jackson join in and a great time was had. Sad story line...after that we never hear from Alex again. His character was written off...too early in my opinion...

As she is preparing to leave for New York she is dismayed that she is NOT having any packing crises. She calls Rory upstairs to inform her something is terribly wrong. How can she, Lorelai, possibly not be in the throes of a packing crisis? Rory responds...."So, you're creating the problem out of nostalgia?" (It should be noted Lorelai is wearing a Bunny Ranch tee shirt. For the life of me I have not been able to locate one for myself...and I HAVE TRIED!)

I have likely seen this particular episode over 20 times. However, today was the first day this particular line had any significance. Let's examine it again...

"So, you're creating a problem out of nostalgia?"

I responded, out loud, "Yes, Rory, I, Patty Vela, am creating a problem out of nostalgia. Not only am I creating one problem, I am creating a number of problems, out of sheer nostalgia."

Don't we all? Don't we all decide, quite early that X is a problem and so Y is affected, similarly...always?

I don't know...maybe we don't ALL have this particular exceptionality. But I know, I've got it in spades. And, so what? Well, here's what...I am sitting here...36, hair unpainted, lines on my face, wondering why I was only 21 yesterday but planning my 20 year high school reunion today. Why does 21 feel like yesterday? Mostly because not much has changed. Why has nothing changed? Because when an opportunity, a possibility, an idea comes up...I "create a problem or obstacle out of nostalgia."

I allow the past to inform the present....and create the future. It's a funny thing, isn't it. It's so safe to keep playing rewind, and rewind, and rewind because you know exactly how it is going to play out. Didn't Einstein define that as "insanity?"

I've spent the last month challenging (and resisting, I might add) this pattern. I've come a long way in even identifying it as a pattern. I just thought it was "life." Well, it isn't. Some people don't live "life" that way...but I thought everyone did. It's like when you don't know you can't see until you put the glasses on and everything becomes clear. I "didn't know that I didn't know."

In the previous post I shared a short video. I do hope each of you had an opportunity to watch it. It was my a-ha moment. You know the one...the awesome one when someone "gets it." Teachers really know it....they light up, you light up...it's a beautiful thing.

I had the a-ha moment alone. Mary saw it....and tried to cradle me in her canine way.

The moment is this. In life you either have the courage to be vulnerable or you don't. The vulnerable are a candle that lights up the space and burns out with splendor. They live the length and the width of their life with the expert grace and ease. They play the game of life...they are on the field. The people who fear vulnerability are a flameless candle. They are the cheerleaders, the fans, the people on the sidelines...in the parking lot...outside the gates of the stadium.

I know where I've been standing during the game. And it isn't where I want to be anymore. I've got a good amount of work cut out for me. I have a lot of things to re-frame and a lot of living to make up for. But I want to be done with being paralyzed by fear. I don't want to create problems for nostalgia's sake. I don't want to create problems where there aren't any. This, of course, is a delicate dance. Problems will arise as sure as the sun will come up in the east. Discernment is going to be key...and I guess I can rely on "gut instinct" for that.

I was asked last week to dwell in the inquiry of why I feel I need to live from a place of "safety, pleasantry, agreeability." I think the answer is because I don't do vulnerability. I mean, I have done it before, but the consequences have been truly unpleasant and dire. However, I can't let the nostalgia of old vulnerability predict the future possibilities. I can't convict the future because of the past.

There's no need to create a problem when you are sassy enough to wear a Bunny Ranch tee shirt.

Watch This!

2011-10-23T22:49:00.000-05:00

My friend Amber sent this to me. It is about 20 minutes long; but well worth the watching.

This analysis cleared up a significant question I was dwelling in this week. I believe that is what is knows as "synchronicity!"

The Best Day of the Year

2011-10-18T13:12:00.000-05:00

Like Lorelai with snow....the best day of any given year for me is the day the first front rolls in.

The wind called me awake this morning and I stumbled onto my back porch around 4.30 am, kitties and doggy in tow. We sat together, squinty eyed, patient and calm and felt the first cool breeze whisper around us.

Days like today represent hope.

Happy Autumn dear friends!

Nasty Bug

2011-10-17T17:51:00.000-05:00

Ciara and I have a saying. I think I have referenced it in prior blog posts. When we are feeling particularly nasty we say, "I think I have been bitten by the nasty bug." Today....I feel like I have been bitten by the entire nasty bug nest...and the queen is sitting pretty...laughing at me. She's saying, in her best British accent, "Ha! I've won! I've got you, bloody hell, blah blah blah...."

I am currently sitting at my dining room table with my Aunt Velma. She is setting up her dental plan with her insurance company and I am taking this opportunity to find what has been "right" with today; rather than "wrong" with today.

1. Rebecca Power completely saved me today! Because of her kindness and generosity I was able to catch up on a LOT of work today.

2. Valerie Mendez called to check in on me.

3. Day Smith prayed for me.

4. My former teachers reminded me of what is important.

5. My mom prayed for me.

6. Mary is on a play date...ALL day!

7. I am about to head to Bible study.

8. My Tessie is sitting on my lap....annoying me (but I love it).

9. Two meetings canceled for tomorrow and I am seriously considering taking a mental health day.

10. My sharpie markers will work perfectly to address some invitations I have ready to go.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am certain Bible study will renew me...as it always does. The to-do list is slowly becoming a "to-done" list and each task is shedding away one at time.

Roost

2011-08-14T21:23:00.000-05:00

This is a beautiful, thoughtful blog. Check it out by clicking here...

365 Days of Patty

2011-08-06T00:31:00.001-05:00

Today I celebrate the privilege of being blessed with another year of life!

35 was arguably the most difficult 365 days of my life. (Mostly because I allowed them to be.) The good news is I am feeling refreshed and renewed for year 36. And....I hear (from all the folks out here) that Mercury is in retrograde so this deep longing for internal "cleansing" and "reflecting" is apparently quite normal! Who knew?

Last night I went to a classical music concert at The Hollywood Bowl and I started considering all the absolutely amazing events that happened....despite the turbulence of year 35. I sort of reflected chronologically and here are a few of the things I came up with....but these aren't in order....nor is this list exhaustive.....

1) I attended my first UT Football game! Go Horns! Thank you Ramsey Kay!

2) I was introduced to Rancho de Bearden...my new place of rest. Thank you Ciara and Ryan!

3) I visited Santa Fe, New Mexico and fell in love! Thank you Sylvia and Peter!

4) I saw Lyle Lovett and John Hiatt at The Majestic Theater!

5) I reconnected with my dear friend Brandon and am so blessed to call him my friend.

6) I spent a week at Horseshoe Bay. Thank you Mom, Dad and The Doege's!

7) I spent a week in Destin, Florida. Thank you Mom, Dad and The Harper Family!

8) Para-sailed!!!!!!!!

9) Jeeped!!!!!!!!! Or Wheeled!!!!!!!!! Whichever....

10) Met my camera. Thank you Mom!

11) Spent my lunches at St. Dominic's Chapel getting "right."

12) Saw my dad acquire his own business...finally! He is his own boss and it is about time!

13) Ate El Pato with Ramsey, Lisa and Crissy.

14) Chaired Silent Auction and was once again awed by true and simple generosity.

15) Was invited into Angela Rabke and Sharon Turner's book club.

16) Spent a weekend at Port A with Leandra, Rebecca and Jenni. (Watched dolphins, as well!)

17) Was asked by be Noah Mendez's Godmother.

18) Watched my Goddaughter finish high school and prepare for college.

19) Met Alison Wright.

20) Spent New Year's Eve with Valerie and Nick.

21) Watched Marisa on TV during the Superbowl!

22) Became friends with Shameka, Jennifer, Gary, Lisa, Manuel, Hector and Diana!

23) Visited Seaside, Florida.....CHARMING!

24) Saw Robert Earl Keen, Jr. at Stubb's.

25) Went "home" after Christmas.

26) Was re-introduced to Denise Garcia and her wonderful husband, Ken!

27) Danced on the roof of the Artpace building. 'Twas fun!

28) Drank Blanton's on the Rocks at Bohanans.

29) Ate dinner with Karrie and Doug Pennebecker at Il Sogno.

30) Completed The Pursuit of God with Janie Worth.

31) Ate Capparelli's with Linda and Bill Fugit at their dining table.

32) Observed the strength and courage of Lisa Callan and Tracey Mather.

33) Was included by Meg Stoffer and her group of friends! Yay! Lots of new faces.

34) Saw the Eggmen with Ciara and Ryan and Nutty Brown Cafe.

35) Watched all seven seasons of The Gilmore Girls...TWICE!

36) Attended Emma Jolie Terrell's first birthday party, Nicolas Mendez's second birthday party, Gianna Mery's second birthday party, Justin and Minnie's December celebrations and Meriweather Rabke's second birthday party

37) Had a morning porch picnic and pajama day with Ella James Bearden.

38) Witnessed Meg Stoffer marry Justin Walker....so wonderful!

39) Witnessed Bryn Carson marry Andrew Auld...so gracious to include me.

40) Purchased a painting by Andree Hudson at Waxlander Gallery on Canyon Road, Santa Fe.

41) Walked in the snow...TWICE!

42) Spent Sangeeta's birthday at Wildfish.

43) Took a private Pilates lesson with Wendy. Thank you, Mom!

44) Ripped the carpet out of my house...NOW WHAT? Yikes!

45) Hosted a garage sale forcing me to purge.

46) Moved a reformer into my garage! Thank you, Mom!

47) Took a yoga class while facing Manhattan Beach.

48) Completed Principles of Accounting!

49) Realized things have to change....profoundly....starting with me.

50) Had my photos taken by my insanely talented cousin...and jumped for joy!

Photo by: Marisa Q Photography

www.marisaqphotography.com

AND THE VERY, VERY, VERY BEST (AND MOST CHALLENGING) ENDEAVOR THIS YEAR....

My girl, Mary Gertrude!

Two Hundred

2011-08-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

According to my post count....this is my 200th blog!

We are living large at Fete....and by "we"...I mean me. Check out this HEB cake, which with my coupon cost a total of 4.25....including the banner reading, "Happy 200." (Imagine the quizzical looks I got from the bakery when I asked them to write "Happy 200." I assured them it was an "inside joke" and that did little to clarify the request.) Yes...I did eat a sliver of cake...I just dug my fork in, (1 year old birthday style) ate a piece and winced in pain because the sugar literally ate away at the dentin immediately. Cake went into the trash bin straightaway.

Thank you to my precious few (and I do mean FEW) readers who have read each and every one of those 200 posts. It's been an interesting ride, right? In truth...those 200 posts have been written during the most challenging times of my life. While I wasn't always consistent...and still am not...this certainly has been a saving grace.

I am loving that House Beautiful created this nifty design insert located just inside the July/August 2011 issue. They perforated the edge for an easy tear out. I will keep this tucked neatly away in my inspiration book. The only hint I would add....center of wall hanging should be 48-51 inches from floor for gallery height hanging.

Pin it, print it, share it....

source

(In honor of a conversation I had earlier today.)

Lorelai: Man I love email. Everyday Rory and I write to each other, multiple times. It's great.

Luke: You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them?

Lorelai: Wrong perspective. Email is a return to the romantic days of letter writing. It's pure Dickens.

Brilliant Juxta"position"

2011-07-28T20:47:00.001-05:00

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pejorative

It was suggested that Tuesday's blog was a tad on the "pejorative" side. Uh...ouch...knife to my heart! This blog has been buoyed by happy sunshine, unicorns and rainbows, daily celebrations and things of that nature since it's inception. Yesterday's blog was meant to 85% entertain, 10% inform and 5% get an "amen" from my girls...(which by the way...it totally did). My readership of five all agreed it was quite funny and "true"...with the exception of my one who said it was pejorative. It bothered me all night long. (Of course it did...I am a "pleaser" and I never want anyone to be disappointed in me.)

So...here's the real deal, the "skinny" if you will....

This blog entry was not about one particular person, per se. Although, I will grant you, it does read that way. Sometimes....(eek...gasp...) I embellish for dramatic purposes. There...I said it! No...my stories are not made up (a la A Million Little Pieces). Should Oprah "discover" me she won't find years later that I fabricated these stories. They are all real, real-lived, real-pathetic!

Indeed a conversation with a girlfriend or an actual event might spark an idea. And...like any good social researcher (I just gave myself that title and coordinating tiara) I report my "results" (real life poop situations) to the general public. In my "professional" experience my "results" have shown (through a series of controlled experiments with "blind" subjects over a number of years) that most boys don't ask interesting personal questions. And c'mon....asking the real questions is a blast! I don't understand why they want to miss out on the fun?

As I drove home last night...one iconic image kept coming to mind as I considered what I had written and how it was interpreted. Here it is....interpret it as you will. I know what my interpretation is and I will never tell...lest the wrath of Gloria befall me!

www.zeldalily.com

Is It Too Much To Ask?

2011-07-26T20:57:00.001-05:00

Hang on a second....let me get the right music in the background for this post.

Yes, yes y'all...another installment of "What She Really Means Is."

This particular topic hadn't occupied my thoughts recently for a number of reasons. Having said that, due to some current communication (that I refuse to answer any questions about...and I MEAN it!) this issue has reared it's ugly head again. Here we go:

PRECIOUS FEW MEN ASK REAL QUESTIONS!

Here's the thing...if you are trying to get to know me...wouldn't it make sense you ask me questions? And when I say questions I do not mean the following:

How are you?

How is your day?

What are you doing?

What did you do last night?

What are you doing tomorrow?

Do you want to have sex?

You get the point. While the aforementioned questions are legitimate (and when asked genuinely they are much appreciated) they just don't get you very far in determining whether or not you intend to spend a second longer trying to get to know me. These are surface questions. Now....I am a VERY verbose person and I can answer each of these with a paragraph or two...if I really want to. But the fact that these are the only questions I am being asked day in and day out...I am apt to:

a) answer them with one word

and eventually

b) blow you off altogether.

I want to know things like (God forbid):

Where were you born?

Where were you raised?

Siblings?

Married, Divorced, Single? (This one is critical for obvious reasons.)

Beatles or Elvis?

Beatles or Rolling Stones?

What makes you excited? (In the non-sexual way, calm down! That comes later..no pun!)

Where do you worship?

Favorite spot in town?

Beach or Lake?

Italian or Mexican?

Run or Swim?

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Do you like the sound of your own voice?

Do you sleep late?

What do you do for a living?

What did you study?

Where did you study?

Again, you get the point.

So in this ritual of "getting to know one another".....boys.....I highly suggest raising the interest level of your questions if your interest level has been raised by a particular young lady. If not....she thinks you aren't really interested in the unique, tiny traits that make her irresistible.

Jason: I have no interest in spending a second of my time with any other woman but you....and Eartha Kitt.

Lorelai: Well, sure!

What You do in Your Free Time is your Business?

2011-07-24T22:03:00.000-05:00

While visiting Florida I attempted to study for my Accounting class and failed miserably! I found EVERY excuse on the Internet to NOT study. Mom walked in and told me I needed to study....flashback....and told me to stop wasting time on the Internet. (I was busy pinning and pinning and pinning and checking out what Tracy Brattin Gerdes was pinning and pinning and pinning.) Anyhow....I said something like, "Isn't what you waste your time doing what maybe you should be doing in real life?" I mean...I don't necessarily know how to translate pinning and blogging and facebooking into a true profession that rewards with decent revenue (accounting word...Ta-Daaaaaa!) but if there were a Ph.D. in it...you could call me "Doctor!"

Then, as if by divine intervention, I saw this "pinned!" I couldn't have summed it up better myself. In fact, I wasn't nearly this succinct...but I had the main idea.

http://photoshopskillz.blogspot.com/2010/02/graphic-design-quotes.html

So if there is any truth to this...I should make a profession out of wasting time, reading design magazines, thinking about cooking, baking and designing, reading, blogging, pinning, facebooking.....

Mary Goes to Camp

2011-07-22T15:09:00.000-05:00

Mom goes on vacation, Mary Gertrude goes to camp....SA Doggy Boot Camp, to be exact!

Clarke and Lucille Young are my new favorite people! Not only does Clarke Young train your pet...he and his wife, Lucille will board your dog if they are under 30 lbs! And guess what...your dog comes back a calmer, gentler version than when they left!

Mary has been receiving in home training, but Clarke offers classes throughout San Antonio. His method is simple and calm. I have seen an enormous change in Mary and am so grateful to Clarke and Lucille for boarding her...twice now! (Mary loves their dog Mico. They play and play...they are similar in age.)

I highly recommend Clarke Young! Doggy manners are of critical importance. Mary still needs a lot of work...and thanks to Clarke I have tools in my tool box for modifying behaviors.

Gypsy

2011-07-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

Look what Mama scored at Uncommon Objects! A rockin' bust of a gypsy. Hot dang! And the price was Unbelievable-10%=Ridiculous Score for Patty. Sometimes I amaze myself!

Not too drunk...Just drunk enough....

2011-07-08T21:51:00.000-05:00

www.skinnygirlcocktails.com

Dear Bethenny,

Thank you for sharing your drink with me. Not only is it delicious and light, I don't have to do a damn thing except open the bottle and pour. How delightful...considering that your drink makes me want to open bottle after bottle after bottle (but in a safe place where no driving is involved!) The first evening I had Skinnygirl Margaritas I was (allegedly) overheard repeating, "These are GREAT....thank you Bethenny....because Skinnygirl Margaritas don't make you too drunk, they make you just drunk enough!" (Enough for what, I am not sure!)

In addition, I would like to thank you for sharing your life with me! My friends and I all agree...we think we would love to include you among our circle of friends for your sense of style and humor; but most importantly for your unapologetic honesty about yourself and others. Thanks for letting us into your house, into your life and into your personal therapy. You give us girls a lot of hope and inspiration. I think we all feel that if Bethenny can "do it," well damn it, so can we!

Now, I must run and enjoy my Skinnygirl Margarita for the evening!

Love,

Patty

"I am not sure he is the Ivy League type, though. He might need more of a hacky-sacking, poetry reading, tie-dying kind of place...like Reed or Oberlin where the air is sweet with the scent of patchouli."

-Lorelai

Yes, my dog gets her own section now. She is permanent. We are a "unit"...so I figured this was the least I could do! Plus she's just so darn cute I have to post her hip photos....

Happy Friday, friends.....

"Unseen, Unsought and Uncertain"

2011-07-05T18:26:00.000-05:00

I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it-something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.

After all, if we were better women-whatever that means-life wouldn't be so hard. Right? We wouldn't have so many struggles; there would be less sorrow in our hearts. Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, not filled with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought-that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain-uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us-whether from a driven culture or a drive church is-try harder.

-John and Stasi Eldredge

www.ransomedheart.com

A dear friend gifted this book to me. This excerpt is from the very beginning....it grabbed me, immediately, on so many levels. I kept thinking, "Yes, yep, that's me, wow, uh-huh, Amen, Thank you!" I am about 60 pages in and hope to share more.

Kardashian

2011-07-03T00:37:00.000-05:00

I once dated a guy who had a thought, repeated it over and over again, wrote it down a few times and would attribute it to himself with a "-Insert Name of Lunatic Here." It wasn't a terribly profound thought....given his intelligence I felt he produced much more memorable "conversables." Be that as it may....I thought it was very arrogant, pompous, and asinine to "quote" himself. Who does that? Nobody! Really important people say really great things and SOMEONE ELSE attributes the line to them and then it goes down in history.

However...tonight...I will allow myself this ONE exception because it was so good.

Scene: South Alamo Street

Friend: I told her she needs to stop wearing leggings and oversized shirts.

Me: What she needs to do is stop being a Kardashian and start being a Kardashian!

Brilliant, I know! Feel free to use it when necessary....but please, remember to attribute it to ME!

Cheers

2011-06-28T14:20:00.000-05:00

www.brunelloshavemorefun.com

So....I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not. I am not a wine person. I don't know a thing about wine. I know I am attracted to pink wines...because, well, they are pink. However, I "came up" in the era where pink wines were definitely de classe; but a large bottle of pink St. Genevive always did the trick in college. If, of course, the trick is blissful intoxication; rather than purposeful, respectful epicurean delight.

When, and if, I am obligated to select a wine I find I am intrigued by the graphic quality of the label, the cleverness of the name, the do-able-ness of the price. Rarely do I give any thought to what might be lurking "inside" the bottle and how that might delight (or offend) the senses of the recipient.

Never mind the fact that wine often brings on an immediate, blood throbbing head ache. IF I want to enjoy I have to go on the defensive with either 4 Advil or a migraine medication and IF I am lucky I won't fall victim to the stabbing, nagging feeling in my head. Most "learned" wine drinkers follow up with, "Well, you just aren't drinking the right types of wine; good, quality wines." I don't doubt that my budget and lack of knowledge steer me towards head ache enacting wines. And, I will be the first to admit that I never experienced a head ache in either France or Italy. That solves it....I will just have to cross the pond when I have a hankering for a good glass of wine. Sure, there might be something to this whole idea...I just don't know what it is or how to navigate around it.

Having admitted to my poor, poor taste and understanding of the luxurious appeal and experience of wine I still enjoy knowing about it and sort of, live vicariously, through enthusiasts who I find are usually really rabid about their passion.

Brunellos Have More Fun is exactly the type of blog that allows me enjoy without having to imbibe. (Although I sure would like to!) Whitney, the creator of this particular blog, has brought a voice to wine that goes beyond just the experience of a sniff, a swirl, a sip, a nose, a bouquet, etc. She invites the reader into the world of a wine lover. She not only offers her knowledge of wine, she shares where "wine" has taken her and how it has shaped her life. She also gives a peek into what a wine lover might wear, how an outfit can speak volumes about the wine that goes with it, what to serve with "sipper" and how you, too, might become equally as passionate as she is!

I met Whitney years ago. She was my cousin's room mate in New York, well, Brooklyn to be exact. I don't know that her love of wine had yet been birthed as they were both working on their respective theatrical careers at the time. Years later they are both still together, in Los Angeles, and their lives have taken them down very different paths. I have kept up with Whitney's endeavors (here and there) through Marisa; but I did not realize she had a blog. If you live in the Los Angeles area and need a person who will tailor your wine curiosities specifically to you....call on this young lady.

Cheers, Whitney. Beautiful blog, beautiful work....

Marisa Q

2011-06-27T21:16:00.000-05:00

Friends...please take a moment to visit this website. Turn the TV off, sit with a cup of hot tea and listen to the soulful voice in the music section. If you "like" what you see...link up to Facebook and "like"

Marisa Quintanilla-Actress!

www.MarisaQ.com launched today and I could not be more excited!

I am so proud of you. You are an inspiration to me. I have had the honor and privilege of watching you grow into the amazing human being you are today; despite tough, tough odds and obstacles that seemed insurmountable. Your resolve and determination has often left me speechless and in awe. You have shown me the true meaning of the relentless pursuit of one's dreams.

You are beautiful, both inside and out; but most importantly you are strong, independent and tenacious. Your courage is an inspiration to me! Keep holding me to the same standard you hold yourself. We both know I need reminders from time to time!

My prayer has been, and will continue to be, that He lead you down a path for His greater glory and that He continue to allow you to practice your crafts. May His spirit always guide you towards Him in any endeavor you may pursue.

Wholly Guacamole

2011-06-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

I am lovin' my new guacamole recipe. It goes a little something like this:

Juice of 2 large limes (3 medium)
Zest of 1/2 lime
Zest of 1/4 orange
2 cloves garlic (chopped)
1-2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt (big pinch)
Pepper

In a lage bowl; whisk the above listed ingredients.

3 tomatoes (seeded)
4 large avocados
2-3 green onions (white and green parts)
Cilantro (as much as your heart desires)

Toss tomatoes, avocado, onions and cilantro in bowl and smash away!

Serve with whatever you fancy....but I highly suggest a Skinny Girl Margarita, a pool and dear friends!

Enjoy.....

Dog Days of Summer

2011-06-21T19:09:00.000-05:00

I am feeling extraordinarily defeated today. How can a 10 lb mass of fur dominate me? How am I allowing it? I think I am doing the right things, and yet, I have taken a true beating today. What is it about my character, my demeanor that is allowing this dog to believe she can dominate any and all situations?

From a behavioral standpoint I realize that any time change is introduced situations become worse; before they become better. When Clarke was here last night, Mary was an entirely different dog. He left and she unleashed on me. She went on a 3-4 minute tirade and I was unable to make any headway despite the tools he gave me. She did it again this morning.

The cats are setting her off...almost on purpose. And when they are fighting and I try to diffuse the situation by bringing Mary's excitement level down she inevitably bites my leg in the process.

Today I have been bitten no less than 50 times. I have had a migraine and the medication has made me very sleepy. I desperately want to lay down....and then complete some homework; but I can't. I can't get anything done. It took me an hour to get out of this house and to the pharmacy (and that was without makeup and hair pulled back).

Maybe I am not cut out for this? Mary is a high energy dog and I am a low energy person.

There...I feel better having just written it all down. I just got bit five times; but I finally got the submissive response. This is a terribly painful process...both literally and figuratively. I feel like a horrible failure.

PS...This is probably why God does not want me to have children.

And it always will be......

2011-06-08T00:04:00.000-05:00

After one too many oaky, smooth glasses of Blanton's on the rocks....I would like to pose a Carrie Bradshaw-like question.....

Are you ever really prepared to hear "the news" you knew you would one day hear? Are you less prepared when you don't have similar "news" to report? Are you less of a person for wondering when your break might come? Does it really have anything to do with anyone other than the most selfish version of yourself?

My new dishwasher is really loud.....

And, by the way, I am not selling my house.

So far....

2011-06-06T18:33:00.000-05:00

I arrived at Northwest Vista College over an hour early to orient myself to the campus (it has grown a LOT since my last period of enrollment) and get some of the housekeeping out of the way.

So far:

1) I parked on the other side of the campus! This uncommonly uncharacteristic of me. I have a very good handle on maps and a highly tuned inner compass. Enjoyed the 15 minute walk in 100 degree weather. Forced myself to look on the bright side....I strolled around the "Lago Vista" and enjoyed the sound of the various fountains.
2) Got my ID. That was simple. No stories, no complaints.
3) Registered for a parking decal. Was asked if I was "Faculty or Student." Ouch! (I think.) Judging from the looks of "the typical student" I will take that one as a compliment. I won't go into descriptors; but this is a tough crowd...this younger generation.
4) Finally get to Pecan Hall and hear a lady screaming, as she comes down the stairs, "I BOMBED this class last semester." As I turn the corner you wouldn't believe the textbook she it holding? Yes, the one, the only $200 dollar Accounting book that is the text my class is using.
5) Professor walks in and says, "Is this French 244?" I laugh....everyone else looks stone cold blank.
6) A kid walks in decked out in Nike from head to toe...the professor says, "Nike is paying you, right?" He is funny!
7) He refers to computers as "confusers!"
8) I took a quiz and got a 5 out of 5. Now all I need is to accumulate 995 more points to ace this sucker. Have I mentioned half the class is taking this a second time...should I be worried?
9) Professor brings up the 1929 Stock Market Crash.....the boy who likes to "shred" his guitar asks, "Was Enron around back then?" He says, "No....and they aren't around now. Neither is Arthur Andersen." Again...blank stares.
10) Despite being the oldest student...by at least a decade...I am the only one who brought a laptop. The rest of them are just using their phones. I am more of a relic than I thought.....

My HGTV

2011-05-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

New format....video blogging. This one is a bit long...but I have never been known for brevity. It appears the audio and video don't match up very well. I wonder if I am doing something wrong. It if bugs ya...don't look...just listen!

What Are The Thousand Splendid Suns?

2011-04-27T19:37:00.000-05:00

"A Thousand Splendid Suns is a breathtaking story set against the volatile events of Afghanistan’s last thirty years—from the Soviet invasion to the reign of the Taliban to the post-Taliban rebuilding—that puts the violence, fear, hope, and faith of this country in intimate, human terms. It is a tale of two generations of characters brought jarringly together by the tragic sweep of war, where personal lives—the struggle to survive, raise a family, find happiness—are inextricable from the history playing out around them.

Propelled by the same storytelling instinct that made The Kite Runner a beloved classic, A Thousand Splendid Suns is at once a remarkable chronicle of three decades of Afghan history and a deeply moving account of family and friendship. It is a striking, heart-wrenching novel of an unforgiving time, an unlikely friendship, and an indestructible love—a stunning accomplishment."

From: http://www.khaledhosseini.com/hosseini-books-splendidsuns.html

Not too many books have a lingering impact on me. This book did! Since I turned the last page I have been thinking....non-stop....about how lucky I am. It has also made me consider the concept of your country as your "home"....the place you want to be despite the devastation. Beyond that, I am so proud to live in a country where I, as a woman, am afforded every freedom that my male counterparts are allowed. Bless all those who have gone before me and paved the way. There is still so much work to be done, here at home, and in other countries.

Book club questions of the night: Do we (The United States) belong in these other countries....trying to sort through their battles? Do we (The United States) have the capability to understand, let alone "fix," religious wars that have been going on for centuries? If we do "leave"....will our work survive?

Legitimacy in Encountering Others, Ourselves and Christ

2011-04-26T23:25:00.000-05:00

What we have most in common is not religion but humanity. I learned this from my religion, which also teaches me that encountering another human being is as close to God as I may ever get-in the eye-to-eye thing, the person-to-person thing-which is where God's Beloved has promised to show up. Paradoxically, the point is not to see Him. The point is to see the person standing right in front of me, who has no substitute, who can never be replaced, whose heart holds things for which there is no language, whose life is an unsolved mystery. The moment I turn that person into a character in my own story, the encounter is over. I have stopped being a human being and become a fiction writer instead.

-Barbara Brown Taylor from An Altar in the World

So this raises an interesting question. When I "hypothetically" presented a very real scenario in my previous "What She Really Means" post....did I turn that person into a character in my own story? And if I did....create fiction....was that fair to do via the world wide web?

This is why...I have largely left my love life out of this blog. Even though some of the stories are deliciously intriguing. These people have hearts that hold things for which there is no language....with lives yet unsolved....I want to be a person who respects and acknowledges that.

I know that person isn't reading my blog....but I feel an apology needs to be issued into the universe.

Rory: I don’t want to say anything moronic.

Lorelai: I’m afraid when your heart is involved it all comes out in “moron.”

Scene In SA Part II

2011-04-25T23:26:00.000-05:00

The 10th Annual Friends of The Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas Hearts in Harmony Gala was Scene in San Antonio!

Keep true to the dreams of your youth.

I didn’t think….like you would think. I thought like I would think. And my thinking is sometimes very, very wrong if you aren’t me….and occasionally if you are me. -Lorelai

"When someone asks us where we want to be in our lives, the last thing that occurs to us is to look down at our feet and say, "Here, I guess, since this is where I am."

-Barbara Brown Taylor from An Altar in the World

Who Do You Think You Are?

2011-04-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else watching this show? I have become enchanted with NBC's Who Do You Think You Are. Since my brain is frankly too tired to try to explain the concept (even though it isn't all that difficult) I have chosen to "copy" the description from the Who Do You Think You Are website.

NBC's acclaimed alternative series "Who Do You Think You Are?" follows some of today's most beloved and iconic celebrities as they embark on personal journeys of self-discovery to trace their family trees. From the trenches of the Civil War to the shores of the Caribbean, and from the valleys of Virginia to the island nations of Australia and Ireland, each episode will reveal surprising, inspiring and sometimes tragic stories that are often linked to events in American and international history.

The celebrities featured in the second season are Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, Rosie O’Donnell, Steve Buscemi, Kim Cattrall, Lionel Richie, Vanessa Williams and Ashley Judd.

Each week, a different celebrity is taken on a quest into his or her family history. The search is one of surprising and deeply emotional encounters, resulting in one of the most compelling reality formats of recent years. During each episode, viewers will be taken on a personal and often mysterious quest following some of America's best-known celebrities into their ancestral pasts, as they uncover stories of heroism and tragedy, love and betrayal, secrets and intrigue, that lie at the heart of their family history.

At the same time, "Who Do You Think You Are?" celebrates the twists and turns of a great nation and the people who made their way here in search of freedom and opportunity. As each celebrity discovers his or her unknown relatives - most of whom overcame hard times - the show will take viewers back through world history to expose how the lives of everyone's collective ancestors have shaped our world today.

From Executive Producers Lisa Kudrow ("Friends," "The Comeback") and Dan Bucatinsky ("Lipstick Jungle," "The Comeback"), in conjunction with their production company, Is or Isn't Entertainment, and Shed Media U.S., the series is an adaptation of the award-winning hit British television documentary series from Wall to Wall Productions, created and executive produced by Alex Graham. Jennifer O'Connell and Al Edgington also serve as executive producers.

The second season ended last Friday with the impeccable Ashley Judd searching for answers regarding her paternal ancestry.

Here is what Ashley blogged (February 25, 2011) prior to the her episode:

Who Do You Think You Are? is one of the most wonderful experiences of all my born days. I have indeed been amazed, and as Dario predicted, I have wept my way through some of the revelations. The producer said he would bet his career on my episode, and yes, he gets to keep his career. It is a doozie. I can’t reveal anything as yet; it airs 8 April, then I can discuss the extraordinary people who are my ancestors! The researchers began working on my genealogy a year ago! They asked what I might like to learn, what questions I might have for my people. I said I wondered if there were any activists in my background, any agitators for social change, champions of the poor, or reform. Were there people of exceptional faith, charity, hope? Who was the God of my ancestors’ understanding? Were there any rabble rousers? Is there an explanation for where my urgent need for justice comes from, my passion for ecumenical tolerance, my desire to protect the vulnerable, for a fair, equitable society? I have had many of these questions answered in spades. I can give one hint: Today I was at Cambridge University. When the porter who escorted me asked what all I might like to see, I said, “the lecture halls.” I miss graduate school. I dearly miss being dedicated exclusively to study. I am very afraid of neglecting my intellectual growth.

http://ashleyjudd.com

She learned that her direct grandfather, 13 generations back, William Brewster, was instrumental in the "Brownist" movement in England....the primary group of religious separatists initiating the eventual pilgrimage popularly known as "The Mayflower." She was quite shocked to learn that she had any ties to England since she had spent her entire life describing herself as a Sicilian, hillbilly rabble rouser.

Certainly we all know Ashely Judd as an actress; but she is also a proud humanitarian focusing on the rights of women in third world countries, poverty, public health, human rights and social justice. She earned a graduate degree from Harvard's Kennedy School of Government and continues to dedicate her time to critically important humanitarian causes. Her social activism dates back to her undergraduate years at The University of Kentucky.

Ashley used a phrase that has stuck with me since Friday night. She said, "blah blah blah....the narrative that has informed my life." (I used it in a conversation with a friend on Sunday....so, friend, I must admit....those words were not my own. I can not claim them.) She was proud, almost relieved, to know that rabble rouser-ism is simply woven into her DNA and she referred to that particular characteristic as "the narrative that has informed her life," and likely the lives of others in her lineage.

I began thinking we all have familiar narratives that inform our lives and allow us the unique experience of "belonging." We can share that narrative with others and find comfort in the knowledge that a shared narrative offers a certain sense of legitimacy. However, each of us has a unique narrative that informs our lives, and our lives, only. More of an "inter-personal" narrative rather than an "intra-personal" narrative. Only one, and one person alone, can know their own narrative. Sometimes those types of narratives can inform our lives in horribly traumatic ways and manifest themselves in often maladaptive behavior. Conversely, the joyful, personal narrative informs our lives in loving and gracious ways. And for the most resilient: the negative narrative informs a life in a way that produces the most courageous, least expected, oft respected manifestations of life's glory.

So...I feel like, at this point, I have written myself in circles. The point I am, so poorly, trying to articulate and arrive at is this:

Every one's experiences inform their lives in a completely unique manner. Given that their narrative is....just that....THEIR narrative....there is no possible way I can ever truly understand another person and I should really just stop trying! Similarly, my narrative is mine and I often feel the deep and critical analysis of my life by others is absolutely unwelcome. (Unless, of course, I am paying you....then that is a completely different story.)

Wow....that was wildly tangential. However....you have now been provided a tiny little window into the thought processes that go on inside this vivid, colorful landscape.....

As a side note...in researching for this entry I came across Ashley Judd's website. I am FASCINATED!

Visit Ashley's website here.

I am going to spend the rest of this evening reading her blog entries. She is a wicked wordsmith....a trait I admire above many others.

You feed your body every day.

You must also feed your mind.

Mary, Mary....Why Ya Buggin'?

2011-04-11T18:20:00.000-05:00

Fun with my new application, "Vintage Scene." Enjoy photos of my little Mary Gertrude.....

What She Really Means Is.....

2011-03-30T18:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, friends....it is time for a new segment. This segment allows me to tip toe to the brink of impropriety without actually diving into the pool. Impropriety meaning....talking about my love life.

I have ALWAYS sworn I would not air out any dirty laundry on this blog, even though Ciara swears I would increase my readership 1 million fold. I, ever the sucker, have always said that there is no room for being disrespectful or for pointing fingers on this blog. I have always prided myself on protecting the "innocent", but hell....NONE of them have been innocent. So....here we go.

(By no means am I perfect. By every means I could be fodder for several men's blogs....trust me. I just want to own it up front and make you, the reader, aware that I, the writer, am MOST aware of my limitations....hauntingly so.)

Important note, I won't use names. But, if we have ever dated...you may want to stay away from these particular segments. I HIGHLY doubt any of you are keeping up with my life via "the blog" but who the hell knows. Apparently I have an avid reader in Germany and a few in South America. Given that, I suppose ANYONE could be a follower.

I have given this topic an extraordinary amount of thought lately. It really hit me on Valentine's Day. I was not, and am currently not, involved with anyone so this Valentine's Day was of very little consequence to me. In fact my mind was so involved in Silent Auction I hardly realized the MOST over-rated day of the year was upon us.

In fact, the day passed. The following day I was having lunch with a friend of mine, Rebecca, and she mentioned that ALL the men at work said the exact same thing when she asked what they would be giving their respective partners for Valentine's Day.

Overwhelmingly, they shrugged and said, "Oh, she said she didn't want anything, so I am not getting her anything."

Rebecca's response, of course, was, "Oh, come on. You know you should get her a little something, right?"

"No, she said I didn't need to get her anything."

God love Rebecca, she tried to make each of them understand; but no one listened.

So, gentlemen, listen up. Here's what she really means.....

She MIGHT, legitimately, mean that she doesn't really want or need anything at the present moment. She might also feel that the money could be better spent on the bathroom remodel or on the new patio furniture you are looking forward to spending the spring hanging out on.

This however, does not and should not, exempt you from making some sort of gesture. We ladies are suckers for tiny little acts of kindness.

Allow me to provide an example of what might have melted my heart. Let's say I had a birthday, fairly recently. Let's say it was the worst birthday of my life and I didn't get out of bed for 3 days because whatever age (35) I might be turning just wasn't settling well. Let's say I was "seeing someone." It was not a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, God forbid. (Because that would be embarrassing, apparently, for him.) Anyhow, let's say I was trying to take the high road given that we weren't really an item. Let's say, for the sake of argument, I made it clear that I just wanted a phone call, a text, a Facebook message and dinner with my parents two nights after my actual birthday. In fact, let's say I officially exempted him from a card, a gift and having to hang out with me the evening of my birthday. In a hypothetical world, let's say I had plans with my mother and some friends for my birthday.

Let's say he hit every nail right on the head. Let's say he did do what I asked and didn't do what I didn't ask. And let's say I didn't have "a pair" enough to say, "No, you WILL pick me up and take me out for a late night martini to celebrate my birthday." And let's say that not only did he not do anything of his own accord and, in fact, was treated to an extraordinary meal by my parents at a local steak house.

Here's what might have been nice: some small acknowledgement of his own that I was celebrating my birthday. I think at that point one, tiny, Hershey kiss might have melted my heart. Maybe a six pack on my back porch to celebrate the day? A hand written note? A hand picked weed flower? A late night moon bath; holding my hand? (It's August...there is always a meteor shower.) Anything would have been wonderful! Anything....

Don't get me wrong...I really did NOT want this hypothetical man to go out and spend any money on my birthday. As I mentioned before....let's say this was not an "official" type of relationship. Let's say there were some things working against us. The point is; on days like birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas, ridiculous non official anniversaries....let her know you are aware and you appreciate her....even if she did ask you not to spend any money on her.

I think we TRY (some of us, at least) to be as LEAST high maintenance as we possibly can. And it comes from a very genuine place. We aren't asking for an Hermes Kelly bag or a pair of shoes that could finance a year in college. Some of us really try to make being "our partners" a remarkably easy experience; because we know there are other areas in the relationship where we make you crazy. But guys, listen to me, and listen to me well....a SMALL token of appreciation will get you everywhere. Be creative; be thoughtful; heed the advice of your female friends and co workers, sisters and mothers.

I know we are complex creatures and our behavior makes little, if any, sense at all. But I know I am 100% right on this one.

Now...some of you are lucky enough to have a gal that will tell you exactly what she wants. Listen to her, too. Or there might be hell to pay.

Stay tuned for more segments of "What she really means is...."

(PS.....While I am a professional, this is NOT professional advice. This is unfortunate, accumulated experience both personal and shared. So...take it for what it's worth...which is nothing because this website is available for free!)

New Apps are Fun....

2011-03-29T22:39:00.000-05:00

Honesty is the Best Policy

2011-03-25T16:53:00.001-05:00

Some things just aren't meant to be; no matter how much we wish they were.

-Linny, the psychologist who gets set up with Christopher by the Gilmore's

I firmly believe, if one has done the "right," "true," and "honest" thing....in the end they will not lose. The "end" just might take a heck of a long time to come around. I did the right, true and honest thing. I lost something big for it. But, I am certain, that losing the big thing....means the big thing was never intended for me.

I feel infinitely better for having put that out into the universe.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

2011-03-24T23:32:00.001-05:00

(photo from www.amazon.com)

I am coming to the end of this book. My father gave it to me as a 35th birthday gift. (We all know how that birthday went, don't we. Okay, pity party over.)

To be honest...this book took me a while to "get into." The author spends an extraordinary amount of pages setting the story up. A young girl can taste the emotions of the people who prepare the food she consumes. This notion has fascinated me for some time; so when I discovered this book I was thrilled. (I am a firm believer in being in a good state while cooking or baking. I have always believed....well....since I read Like Water for Chocolate that your emotions infuse the food you create.) Anyhow....I was fairly disappointed early on. However, I have to say the book is finishing up nicely. The conflict arrives late in the story; but when it does it is both gentle and devastatingly sad.

Aimee Bender is known for crafting unique, but lovably bizarre characters. Indeed, she has crafted a family of particularly sad people who seem impossible to understand. But isn't that how it is? We can only really understand the family we were born into. All others seem distant and strange...simply because they aren't what we intimately know; it isn't what is weaved through us at a cellular level.

If you are a fan of "quirk" then pick this up. If odd people, odd characters, odd movies, odd situations aren't your thing, might I suggest you leave this one on the shelf?

Pies from Bluebonnet Cafe in Marble Falls, TX.......

Views from the lake house at Horseshoe Bay....generously shared with us by Charlie and Becky Doege!

"There's a place for us....when are you going to realize it was just that the time was wrong?"

-Dire Straits

Good night, dear friends! Good news...in 30 minutes it is officially Friday...and for most of you that means 30 minutes until pay day!

Seriously

2011-03-23T23:13:00.000-05:00

Charlie's Angels called....they want their hairstyle back.......

(This is what happens when you sleep with sponge rollers....kickin' it old school style!)

Dexter Freebish

2011-03-22T20:13:00.000-05:00

The name of the band was Dexter Freebish. Ciara and I thought it was Mingo Fishtrap...but it hit me in the shower this morning. Let's see what Wikipedia has to say about them....

Well....Wikipedia had a lot to say. I cut and pasted. It didn't translate correctly....but I was correct. They were a band in Austin. They had a Top 40 Hit (I wouldn't brag too hard about that) called "Leaving Town." Now...I am going to check out the song on iTunes because I have no real recollection of it.

Deep Eddy Tavern and Tom Waits

2011-03-21T20:14:00.000-05:00

Years ago...I mean YEARS ago...probably 1998...Ciara and I were having a few beers at Deep Eddy Tavern. I remember it was a balmy summer night, the air hung heavy...our hair falling victim to the humid summer thickness and our clothes slightly damp; sticking to us as we peeled ourselves off and on the red vinyl chairs.

I walked up to the bar to order another beer. What was I drinking those days? Miller Light, no doubt. The bartendress was terribly hip, hip, new hippy, hipster like. You know....one of the individuals proud to "Keep Austin Weird." One of the regulars asked her, "Who would you wait in line for two days to watch perform a concert?"

Not a second flew by before she beamed, "Tom Waits."

I ordered my beer and shamefully slid back to the table...where Ciara had been invaded by a group of young men who told us they were in a band. (I don't recall the name of the band....but they actually turned out to be a one hit wonder. She and I laughed every time we heard their song on the radio.)

I didn't have time to ask her, "Who is Tom Waits?" The boys had dominated the conversation. They wanted to go salsa dancing. We politely declined; a regret I have always had because one of them was so sweet and gentle and seemed genuinely interested in knowing me....if even just for one salsa dance. My negative "zero" self image wouldn't allow it.

I never admitted I didn't know who Tom Waits was. How could I, world traveler, college graduate, music snob not have encountered Tom Waits by 1998?

It would be years before I remembered to find Tom.

Tonight I heard this song for the first time.

Now I know why she would wait in line for two days.

I hope you are listening right now....

So, how are you feeling tonight? Red? White? Or gin-soaked? -Jason Stiles

My new vintage bracelet! Thanks, Mom!

Things are coming along nicely. A corner has been turned. I am going to be okay!

"I woke up on Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt..."

2011-03-08T19:32:00.000-06:00

Hearts in Harmony Gala: Part II

With so many people to thank I figured I would include parts of the program from Gala.

(Program created by the devilishly talented Christin Gish)

A list of the individuals, businesses and supporters I am BEYOND indebted to....and so proud to know:

This photo was in the San Antonio Express News this Sunday.

From left to right: Barbara Stevens, Gala Chair; Patty Vela (Me), Silent Auction Chair; Traci Gomez, Executive Director of The Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas; and Linda Fugit, Barrerras Volunteer of the Year. I also took the time to get a little "crafty"; paper crafty, that is. I haven't played with paper in a LONG time. With the extra time...I figured, why not.

Originally handed to me as a sample, I have fallen deeply, madly, passionately in love with my new bath gel.

Created by the masters at Molton Brown, London, this fragrance is called

Paradisiac Pink Pepperpod.

Pepper-ish, indeed! There is a hint of "man" in the shower gel that I enjoy wearing throughout the day.

(Photo from www.moltonbrown.com)

I don't need you to be sorry. I need you to be "there." -Lorelai

A nervous breakdown can really work wonders for a girl. -Rory

(I found this one in the parking lot at work)

New people will bring new realizations, especially big issues.

Silent Auction-Year Two

2011-03-04T22:34:00.000-06:00

On Thursday, February 24, 2011 The Friends of The Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas celebrated its 10th Annual Hearts in Harmony Gala. Below are some photos of our Silent Auction. These were the only photos I had time to shoot. Once Silent Auction and Gala got underway, I completely forgot I even had a camera. Hell, I forgot I even had a name! Anyhow...enjoy the photos.

To everyone who supported me, secured a donation item, collected a donation item, decorated a donation item, suggested an item, set up, tore down, volunteered, calculated, fielded questions, called my name out 20 times before I was able to address the situation, prayed, reminded me to chill, listened to me lament, sensed the tension in my voice, honored my obsessive compulsive tendencies, reigned in my obsessive compulsive tendencies, purchased an item, bid on an item....and drove all the way in from Austin AND back on the same day.....I want to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

No more Silent Auction! I officially resigned my chairmanship. I would like to explore different positions on the board. This two year projects has taught me a lot about myself. Some good; some not so good. The ultimate goal, however, never changed: to foster healing for grieving families in this community.

Thank you, Friends Board, for trusting me with this project. It has been an honor to serve you all! Most of all, thank you for believing in me....when maybe I didn't believe in myself!

This Photo Makes My Eyes Smile....

2011-03-02T19:39:00.000-06:00

Today I was poking around on Design*Sponge and I came across this photo. The photo set designer is Chelsea Fuss. Check out Chelsea's great blog at {frolic!} The photographer is Lisa Warninger. This photo struck me because the subtext is books, flowers, white and vintage hotel silver. These are a few of my favorite things......

Cheers to Snow

2011-02-04T23:39:00.000-06:00

I love snow! Everything is magical when it snows. Everything looks pretty.... Do you know the best things in my life have happened when it snowed? -Lorelai

Lorelai: I smell snow.

Luke: What?

Lorelai: It's coming. I always know. I can smell it and I am never wrong.

Luke: It wasn't in the forecast.

It's just my favorite time of the year! The whole world changes color. -Lorelai

Flakes, flurries, swirls, crystals.....whatever form it comes in, I'll take it. We go back...me and snow...we have a history. -Lorelai

Lorelai: Hey! You know who just nipped at my nose? Jack Frost!

Michele: You know who just nipped at my ear? Jack I don't care!

How are you loving our winter wonderland? -Lorelai

Close your eyes, and breathe.....I smell snow! -Lorelai

Lorelai: I feel good, tingly.

Rory: That's called Frostbite.

The world changes when it snows...it gets quiet...everything softens. -Lorelai

When it snows, something inside me says, "Here's your present." -Lorelai

What Would Your Jacket Cover Say

2011-01-30T12:56:00.000-06:00

It's no secret....I LOVE BOOKS! It is also no secret that I desperately wish to write a book...at some point. Truth be told (oh goodness...I am cringing) I actually wrote a book in the 8th grade. There we go....the secret is out! I spent the better part of 6 months NOT paying attention in class (sorry Mom and Dad) and ferociously penning what I thought would be the next great, adolescent, angst-ridden, terribly dramatic, slightly inappropriate novel. Of course....I was the troubled heroine sitting at the apex of a wicked love triangle....I was the object of the affection of two "men." (You know this is fiction because nothing so glorious has ever happened in real life!) Anyhow...I digress.

One of my favorite "parts" of the books that live in my house is the "jacket cover biography." In four or five short lines I feel I "know" the author simply because how and where they live and work is revealed to me. And EVERY TIME, WITHOUT FAIL, I experience the tiniest pang of jealousy.

I've been thinking about this for a few weeks. What would my jacket cover....IDEALLY say? What life, what location, what circumstance do I think would be the "perfect" blend and combination to inspire daily writing?

Warning: The following are grossly out of proportion with reality; but are fun to consider and go swimming in the "what if" pool of ultimate fantasy....

Patricia Vela received her Ph.D. in both the classics and English literature from Oxford University. She is currently the chair of the English department at the University of Texas. In addition to writing several novellas, memoirs, books of fiction and a Tony award winning play, she is a regular contributor to Vanity Fair, Harper's Magazine, Texas Monthly and The New Yorker. She lives on a working farm between San Antonio and Austin where she tends to her lavender, chickens, goats, two large dogs and any cat that comes to her door! When she isn't at home she can be found in her Airstream visiting the Texas coastline.

Wow....I just smiled and laughed out loud...talk about a fantastic life! I can't top that one with anything else. I am not even going to try. I know I promised "several examples" but that one just summed it up! That would be my ideal jacket cover!

As for the book from 8th grade....I eventually got tired. I had over 200 wide ruled (no college ruled paper in middle school) handwritten pages stuffed into a blue flimsy binder with no conclusion in sight. See....I have ALWAYS been long winded!

What would your jacket cover say? And is it impossible to think that even one fantastical line of your jacket cover is actually within your grasp?

Comfortably Numb

2011-01-25T21:48:00.000-06:00

On a day when I feel like a big, huge crab apple blossom....I am issuing a challenge to myself to find the celebrations of TODAY....

The sun was out! My hair cooperated! My oatmeal with blueberries and pecans was pretty damn amazing! I talked to Ciara! A student actually called me "Miss Vela" and not just "Miss." I adjusted my office chair to a moderately comfortable position; as opposed to the terribly uncomfortable position it has been in the last few months! Generous donors to Silent Auction!!!!!! A visit to CBCST and SURPRISE...my friend Meg was there! Gracie let me hug on her for a long time! I talked to my mom and dad today! There....good! Good! This is good!

Paris: Men suck!

Rory: They do suck!

Paris: Can't count on them. They never have your back.

Rory: No, they don't.

Paris: They make you love them and then they let you down and you are walking around with a stomach ache for the next six months.

Rory: Is that how long it lasts?

Paris: I don't know. I hope it is only six months.

Rory: Yeah, me too.

You're funny! You know they say pretty women aren't usually funny because they never had to be. Were you fat as a child?

-Shell Sossman (Chicken/Poultry Supplier)

I downloaded a 30 day trial of Aperture. Here are a few of the photos I played with....

Any thoughts? Worth the 200 dollars? It was fun to play with....I might make the purchase.....

Are We There Yet?

2011-01-17T21:26:00.000-06:00

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Whites Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Eating My Words

2011-01-12T21:39:00.000-06:00

www.twilight.com

It has happened. I have learned my lesson. Never shall I say "NEVER" again. Never shall I make fun of a group of people who feel so fervently, so passionately, for a book series/movie saga again. (I mean...look at me an Gilmore's Girls for crying out loud. I should have never been making fun of the "Twi-hards" in the first place!)

As many of you may know my cousin, Marisa Quintanilla is currently filming Breaking Dawn. She is playing the part of Huelin. I have not actually read any of these books so I don't know how to describe her character. But I know she belongs to the "vampire" clan, as opposed to the "werewolf" clan. Ever the proud cousin (oh yes, I DID sit through Road House II-how many of you knew there was a sequel? Rent it...she's in it.) I decided to jump on the band wagon and familiarize myself with the movies.

To be honest I fell asleep through Twilight three different times. It took me a number of attempts to get through it. It was dark and sleepy and she was maudlin and annoying me. However, I persevered. I owe this to my cousin, right? Immediately after I finished Twilight, I fed New Moon into the DVD player. I stayed awake for this one. Oh wait, no, I fell asleep...that was the week I was operating on little sleep and high emotion. I can't help it...these movies lend themselves to snuggling up on a dreary day and drifting off into a netherworld of vampire clouds. Admittedly, I am still a little lost about why Edward went away to Italy and the whole Voltari thing but I enjoyed New Moon. It was during New Moon I pledged my allegiance to Team Edward. I can't help it. He is a 109 year old man stuck in a 17 year old body. Seriously? What 35 year old woman would not find his gentle and tender way of loving Bella intoxicating?

As expected...after New Moon I was eager to get my hands on Eclipse. Now...I am just left waiting, wondering, how does this story end? Actually....I coerced a friend into telling me how it ends. In the erstwhile (oooooh...I like that word) I have become obsessed with the Eclipse soundtrack; and in particular this one song called "My Love" by Sia. So haunting and mystical....the background to Edward's proposal...you know with the vintage ring? Sigh!

Heightening my foaming anticipation of Breaking Dawn are Marisa's daily texts and varied phone calls. She can't say much, for obvious reasons. But what I can say is that EVERYONE she has worked with, from the biggest names to the lowliest wardrobe person, have treated her with kindness and respect. She seems to be having a positive experience and for that....I am even more grateful to God. He answered our prayers by allowing her this opportunity and is sweetening it with genuine individuals.

I can't wait!!!!!

"My Love"
by Sia

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, you have found peace
You were searching for relief

You gave it all, gave into the call
You took a chance and
You took a fall for us

You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully
You taught me honor, you did it for me

Tonight you will sleep for good
You will wait for me my love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand added a plan
You gave me your heart
I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly
Did what you could release
Aaaahhh oooh

I know you're pleased to go
I won't relieve this love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you
oooooohh ooooh
Du du du ooooooh

I am a sucker for Twilight now......Dang it! I hate having to retract all my sarcastic Twilight comments. Lesson learned.....

X Marks the Spot

2011-01-11T23:26:00.000-06:00

No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expansive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.

-Barbara Taylor Brown from An Altar in the World

My eyes looked over that last sentence at least 20 times before I went to bed last night. Allow your eyes to linger long over those words. When is the last time you gave yourself consent to be where you are. I have a friend who always encourages me to do this. She challenges me to give myself permission to feel what is presently being "asked to be felt." (You know who you are, dear friend!)

Lane: How'd you like it?

Rory: It's great. I burned a copy for my mom.

Lane: You know, it is people like you who are destroying the music industry.

Rory: Oh, now! Britney's gotta shoulder some of the blame.

Thank You Notes

2011-01-10T06:38:00.000-06:00

While nothing can compare to sending and/or receiving a personalized, hand written, Thank You note....I have found this is a lovely, quick way to send your gratitude! In a time when etiquette is having to shift and adjust for technology; this is the best, most sophisticated way I have found to send something that looks as close to "real" as possible. Click here to sign in and create an account with Paperless Post. I believe you get your first 25 "stamps" to email letters free. After that you may either "earn" or "purchase" additional "stamps" to keep sending Thank You letters, Invitations, Birthday Greetings, Valentine's Day Cards, etc.....

Happy Funday, Monday friends. I am so pleased I woke up at 4am today! I was able to work on Silent Auction, send Thank You notes via e-mail and blog all about Paperless Post.

Admissions

2011-01-09T18:55:00.001-06:00

For some reason....today this will make me feel better. Anyhow...people are constantly encouraging me to "be who you really are." Given that I seem to hear this with a significant amount of frequency...I can only imagine people assume I am being someone else. Here's the truth.......

1) I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy all the time. So....while I am "being me" I think the confusion lies in the fact that ultimately I want the world to be satisfied...very often at my own expense.

2) I am forgiving....to a fault. Here's how I figure it: there is by ONE judge and it isn't me. God has asked me to forgive. That doesn't mean I necessarily am commanded to forget. But....forgiveness does not equal relationship. Forgiveness means I release you into Christ because He loves each of us equally.

3) My heart is very, very, very, intensely tender and breaks easily. This has served me adaptively in a number of ways...and maladaptively in other ways.

4) I am a "thinker," "processor," "talker," "analyzer." That's it...too bad...take it or leave it. It is what it is. I do not accept actions until I have sorted them out in my brain and in my heart. Yes, I can strangle situations to death....but that is how I need to do it. In as much as I want to respect the way others process situations; I expect the same respect in return.

5) I don't have secrets. I will tell you about my life. I am certainly not perfect and a lot of things have happened in my 35 years. I am not ashamed. If my life and my stories can provide explanations, answers and comfort to another human being; then I am willing to share. (Yes, at the risk of judgment.)

6) I am a "perseverate-or" and don't let go of things easily. This likely drives others to the point of wanting to pull their hair out....but those of you who have stuck with me have certainly earned their place in heaven.

7) I am a flake. Really. I mean...on some levels I am very organized and have excellent follow through. However, I VERY often say "yes" to plans and flake out. My friends know this. They know to expect it and love me, anyhow. Thanks, friends. Trust me....your patience is not lost on me!

8) I suffer terrible dreams...nightly.....I always have. As far back as I can remember my dreams are vivid and macabre. This is probably where I work out all the "perseverating" mentioned in #6.

9) I am a procrastinator. Sometimes I am top of things; mostly I am not.

10) I am loyal....very loyal. In a relationship I am a serial monogamist. Once you have my heart...you have me for good. I expect the same in return. Unfortunately this has rarely been the case. I am currently challenging and revising my notions of fidelity. No, I am not revising. I am standing firm and not giving in to the zeitgeist. I am old school. You are either on board or you aren't. If you aren't...there is the door.

11) I am a "Beatles" and not an "Elvis." And what's more, I am a "George Harrison." His songs are the most pleasant to my ear.

12) The things I find most beautiful in other people: humility, honesty, wisdom, compassion, selflessness, grace.

13) The things I find most odious in other people: pompous arrogance, dishonesty, ignorance, self centeredness, judgment.

14) I have been (and might always be) attracted to pretty, bad boys. So, I am no longer doing the picking. If I see a man and I am attracted to him I am immediately walking the other way. If I like him, there HAS to be something wrong.

15) I love God, I love Jesus. They love me back, it is clear. I am certain I disappoint them on a daily, if not hourly basis, but I try. I am humbled by God's grace and can't believe that salvation is so simple and yet so many people refuse to accept it. (But this is about who I am...and I can not speak on behalf of others.)

16) I have made some wrong decisions and I do have a few regrets. There, I said it. (Or wrote it....same thing.)

17) I compartamentalize. I just realized this. This is a big revelation for me. I have a difficult time incorporating all the roles I play into one "grown, adult woman." I would probably be less exhausted if I could just "be."

18) I have been tortured by self-doubt and insecurity for years. NO MORE! This is how smart I am, this is what I look like, this is how tall I am, this is what I weigh, this is what I have accomplished, this is what is left to be done. (Sure, I can make adjustments to some of these things...but right now....who I am is perfectly imperfect and I know that because, in the words of my girl, Loretta Lynn, "God makes no mistakes.")

19) I am, by nature, pessimistic. The glass is half-empty. It is a daily struggle; but a daily victory if I can frame things from the opposite perspective.

20) I don't always consider others. This is not because I don't want to. As I said in #1 I am intent on the satisfaction of others. Sometimes my brain is honestly so over-loaded with my over-processing, perseverating, procrastinating, etc....there isn't always space left for everyone. For that....I apologize.

Dean: I've got a five year plan.

Rory: Five years? Cool! I've got about the next two and a half hours planned and then there's just darkness; and possibly some dragons.

Eyes Open; Refusing to Close

2011-01-06T01:56:00.000-06:00

"I'm impossible to forget; but I'm hard to remember."

-Claire Colburn (Kiersten Dunst in Elizabethtown)

The Trash Bin Returns

2011-01-03T21:33:00.000-06:00

The tarty little trash bin arrived Saturday morning, New Year's Day, after what I can only imagine was a "trashy" night out on the town. She came home empty; but filthy! She is covered in a layer of dust suggesting a roll in the dirt that I don't really need to "know" about.

As with MOST situations in my life I have jumped to a conclusion. I ranted and tossed accusations and thought really terrible things about the imaginary really terrible people in my head. Really....someone obviously just needed an extra bin for their celebration. But I stand firm: JUST ASK ME NEXT TIME! I am happy to lend her out...for the right price! ;)

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.

Metaphor or Irony...or Both?

2011-01-01T14:38:00.000-06:00

And in one final act of defiance....2010 irritated me at the last possible moment! 2010 looked me square in the face and said, "Fudge you, Patricia!" Oh yeah....as I said on Facebook...."2010....good riddance to bad luggage!" (Gilmore-ism, of course!) Literally....

In the words of my dear friend, Jace'...."What had happened wuzzzzzzzz.....".......I left my house at roughly 8.15pm. As I backed my car out of the garage I noticed both my blue recyclable and brown waste bins were snuggled comfortably in their place of honor; just outside the garage. I thought to myself, "Damn...I forgot to put the waste bin out today. It is full! I am going to have to wait one more week! Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now."

Upon my return at roughly 10.45pm....aforementioned brown waste bin is GONE! Yes...the city issued brown waste receptacle is mysteriously missing and my blue recyclable bin is slightly askance, sad and missing a few of it's contents.

Now, it has NOT at all been lost on me that things have recently gone missing from one, if not both, of those receptacles. For instance, I threw out a set of (circa early 1980's) plastic mini blinds that had squatted in the garage since I purchased this place 8 years ago. They sat poised to be hauled off to the land fill (I can't possibly compost EVERYTHING) for a few days. Then....they were mysteriously missing.

I understand if there are people who NEED my STUFF. They can have it. I have no issue with them ransacking my waste bins for things that are of value to them. Come talk to me, ASK ME, I will say, "Yes...undoubtedly." And...knowing me I would probably invite them in for cookies and coffee and say, "Look around....anything else you need?"

It is an entirely different story when you STEAL MY CITY ISSUED TRASH BIN! Now...I am inconvenienced. First of all, I have to call "the city" and request a new bin. Who KNOWS how long that will take. Second, what the hell am I suppose to do with the trash that collects in the "por mientras?" (The mean time!) Shall I beg my neighbors to allow me to borrow their bins? How embarrassing! I don't want to burden them with my garbage...which is mostly disgusting pet refuse because I try to compost/recycle most everything else.

If you NEED my STUFF...take it. But call "the city" for your own trash bin! There is only so much "giving" one person can do before they (Patricia Vela) just become pissed and resentful! I realize this is small....in the grander scheme of life who really cares about a trash bin. That isn't the point. It is NO LONGER the point. The theme of 2011 is: love, laughter and adventure. Oh....and NO MORE DOORMAT-ISH-NESS for one Patricia Vela. I am going to use the voice I was given, open my mouth, and tell people (politely) just how I feel. Of course...I can't exactly chastise my trash thieves....because I don't really know who they are. But this...this is MY forum!

Here's the irony.....all that was in the bin was old cat litter and a piece of old luggage that my cats had vomited on! As I said....2010....good riddance to bad luggage! And really, "2010....fudge you!"

Today starts a new day, a new year and a new pledge to "really living".....any seeds of ill will shall fall on barren ground. Happy New Year dear friends! Look for the new, improved, Patricia Vela 3.0 and remind her (gently) when she is falling back on her old ways. "I'm (not necessarily) mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it (foolishness of others) anymore!"

I gotta keep you on your toes. When you think I'll zig, I'll zag and then when you think I am gonna zag...I DO zag just to mess you up for the next time I might zig. -Lorelai

A solution would have been birth control. Too late, move on. -Jess

I don't need you to be "sorry!" I need you to be "there!" -Lorelai

This Makes Me Smile Today

2010-12-24T12:47:00.000-06:00

In as much as my family photo below is "who I am;" so is my mantle....filled with the love and smiles of dear friends and family that I continue to be blessed with.

On the day eve of the birth of our Savior I am reminded of the one thing He asks of us...to love one another. I see His face, His love and His grace every time I pass by my mantle.

Dear Jesus....Happy Birthday. My gift to you is to love and honor these people as you have asked me to. With my most humble love....Your Child (and homegirl)....Patty

I wish for you all a wonderful holiday season with your loved ones and a most prosperous new year.

Blessings and love.....

Ella Bella: Part II

2010-12-09T17:19:00.000-06:00

This morning I woke up to this email and photo.....

We got your cute card today and Ella immediately wanted to cut your picture out so she could carry it with her. Then she kissed the picture twice & placed it carefully with her stuff. She loves her auntie!

-Ciara

Ella Bella

2010-12-08T20:53:00.000-06:00

Telephone call between Ella and I (after she received my Christmas card with Santa Claus)

Ella: Did you see Santa Claus?

Me: No, but he called me yesterday (forgetting about the card). Do you want to know what he said to me?

Ella: No.

Me: What? Really?

These are Me....

2010-12-06T20:59:00.000-06:00

There's a few people missing (most importantly my dad-he was hunting)...but this is who I am.

Top: Uncle Juan, Mom, Sarah, Tia Velma, Tony Joe

Bottom: Tia Alfie, Tia Irene, Patty, Sissy, John, Gavin, Grandma, Mari and Patti

Behind the Camera: Marisa

I am beyond blessed!

Promenade.

2010-12-03T13:12:00.000-06:00

I traded your sweetness for my loneliness,

And your confidence for my own regret,

And your simple grace for this disarray,

That's my stock and trade,

While you promenade....

-The Gourds

It's getting to be that time, blog friends. It is the time of year when I stop blogging and dedicate all computer time to SILENT AUCTION 2011! Gone are the days of creative blogging, present are the days of data-bases and emails and the need to be HIGHLY organized in a timely, efficient manner. I call upon you, blog readers, to share with me your ideas for awesome Silent Auction items! Do you have something you can suggest, a friend or loved one who might be willing to donate a good, quality item? Contact me via email or Facebook. I am currently looking for an individual who might consider donating a Kindle, Nook, etc, an iPhone, a guided deer hunting trip, a high end ladies hand bag, etc.

Signing off for now as I am headed to spend good quality time with my family in McAllen. May you all enjoy a wonderful weekend.

Going Off Recipe

2010-11-25T18:29:00.000-06:00

Two days ago I had the pleasure of attending a cooking lesson at The Santa Fe School of Cooking. The class was taught by Chef Rocky Durham who was a most pleasant combination of historian, comedian, culinary expert mixed in with humility, compassion and (instantly detectable) character. He explained to us that the menu for Mexican Cuisines III had been developed by someone else and he was not the author of the recipes that were sitting in front of us. While he found merit in the recipes and was going to instruct us on these specific items; he also made it very clear that he was going to go "off recipe"....sort of as the spirit moved him.

I will certainly blog about the cooking class, recipes, etc. when I get all my Santa Fe photos properly uploaded, cropped, etc. For today, though, I want to talk about going "off recipe."

I suppose each of us is born into, and unto, completely unique circumstances. Depending on a myriad of variables I think each life starts to take on it's own "recipe." Some of the ingredients are just basic...just necessary...like salt, for instance. Usually, in cooking and baking, there is some sort of oil, butter, fat at the foundation. There is often a binder like an egg, egg white, egg yolk. In baking there are your "dry ingredients" and your "wet ingredients" and most baking recipes start from the "dry" mixed into "wet" sort of place. These fundamentals can not be argued or tampered with.

I prefer baking to cooking. I don't consider myself a "bad" cook by any stretch. But I think I shy away from cooking for a number of reasons. One is that as a single gal...it is really a pain to cook for one person day in and day out. It is hard to purchase items "for one" and I am terrible about eating left overs. I also tend to back away from cooking because there are far less rules and boundaries. You can really go all over the place, a pinch of this and a toss of that. You can switch gears mid-way and wind yourself up in a place you never intended to go. By it's very nature...cooking is NOT who I AM.

Baking, on the other hand, demands exquisite precision and attention to detail. One shard of flour more, one granule of sugar extra, one change in barometric pressure might render a valiant attempt into a terrible failure. (Lately my pound cakes and brownies have suffered terrible fates as I bake them and immediately toss them out. I think I need a convection oven!) Baking, for me, is a labor of love. I like to take my time and enjoy the process (usually with a spot of bourbon that helps to heighten the sweetness of each recipe I make). Where something calls for melted butter, I choose to do a slow melt on the stove as opposed to the instant gratification of pressing some buttons on the microwave. I mix sugars together with my hands imagining the feeling of the best quality satin sheets. I grate whole nutmegs and grind cinnamon. I use only organic products as I feel that they not only "crisp" up the flavor of the baked goods but they also hearken back to the days when people "made" their own baking products from the fruits of the land they lived on. I make a special trip to the farmer's market to collect eggs from the same gentle woman who lovingly raises her chickens and is so proud of what they produce. In short, the process warms my heart and takes me back to a place when values and sensibilities were....just different. At least in my mind!

Going "off recipe" in baking is not an option. I usually thrown in a flavor here or there that might enhance the over all experience; but never do I tamper with the fundamental ingredients. Baking IS who I AM. Going "off recipe" makes me very nervous. I am not a rule breaker or a thrill seeker. By nature I like to stick to a general plan and follow through with it. Don't get me wrong...I do have a creative side; but as "living" life goes...my understanding has always been that there is a recipe and you do not deviate from it lest you find yourself desperately searching to get back on course.

Having given it some thought during this amazing week in Santa Fe...here is what my life recipe "should be:"

2 amazing parents
Siblings (optional)
12 years foundational education
4 years university
2 years graduate studies (at minimum)
1-2 serious boyfriends
1-2 heartbreaks
1 husband
1 marriage
1-2 dogs
2-3 children
1-4 homes
1 career
1 solid faith in God
1 sweet relationship with Christ
70-80 years of living
And a pinch of joy, sorrow, celebration, trials, tribulations, successes and failures thrown in for a bit of flavor every now and again.

Combine and make certain you don't wait too long to find your husband and have your children because that could result in an imperfect creation and irregularities. Keep a firm handle on the amount of sorrow, heartbreak, trials, tribulations and failures because you certainly don't want an excess of those ingredients. That might render the product slightly bitter and burned ever so slightly...a golden crispiness. Infuse the ingredients with as much joy and celebration and success as possible. Those ingredients are as essential as butter and mayonnaise is to a Paula Deen recipe. I believe her philosophy is that you can never have too many of those items. Do not deviate from this pre-scripted plan. It is expected, the norm and any variation will result in a bizarre end product that will offend the sensibility of the recipe.

Here's what the recipe has ACTUALLY been:

1 unbelievably loving mother
1 amazing father (who has set the bar so high, I can't imagine any other man living up to it)
1 extraordinarily tender and thoughtful childhood
4 amazing aunts
3 cousins who are my "sisters"
1 God daughter
1 God son (as of January)
1 year pre-school (picked up one life long friend)
7 years primary school (private school)
2 years middle school (private school)
4 years high school (picked up two life long friends)
4 years college (picked up a NUMBER of life long friends)
1 semester abroad in London, England (acquired a love for Europe, theater, art and traveling)
2 years graduate school (picked up 3 life long friends + one of their sisters)
11 years assessing students for special education services (picked up a NUMBER of life long friends)
1 apartment
1 home
3 kitties
4-5 European vacations
Unlimited travel throughout the United States
1 belief in God
1 fresh relationship with Christ
4 and 1/2 major heart breaks (if left alone long enough will turn into tender friendships, sometimes)
2-3 bad decision (still working on forgiving myself and others)
1 blessed road to The Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas (began to find my voice here)

I suppose that is my "base" recipe. Here are some of the "flavors" that have given my recipe it's unique flavor:

Unlimited amounts of love and laughter
Tears of joy-save these; they are hard to find
Tears of sorrow-use sparingly; they make for puffy eyes...even though sometimes they feel so good to shed
Fear of failure-just a pinch of this; if not complete omission....often results in paralysis
Limited self confidence-be very careful of this one; especially in your teens and twenties
Books-can never have enough of this
Music-can never have enough to this
Movies-can never have enough of this
1 Sassy obsession with a television show
2 Serious episodes of depression-you can't always control for this....it's like barometric pressure and baking....you have to accept it and adjust for it....and not feel embarrassed
1 Terrible love of shoes-they set the mood for everything
1 Pinch of adventure and spontaneity-if you are able to add more then you should
Unlimited amounts of forgiveness-because we all expect it back someday, don't we?
1 Heaping amount of "terrible with money!"-although re framing that notion has proved helpful recently
0 Children-but trying to figure this one out on my own
0 Husband-no longer feel the need to figure this one out on my own
Several spiritual guides-find quality ones, keep in abundance and shower with love
Tons of people who call me "Auntie Patty"-this sweetens any recipe and feels like warm melted butter in your heart

While I am certain there are millions more flavors I can add or take away that have made this recipe unique to me...the truth is I am a glass and a half into some serious champagne and it is best if I put this blog to rest.

I am coming to terms with "my recipe" and how it has completely gone "off script" from the recipe I once held onto so tightly I practically strangled it. I am releasing the grip and adding flavors, a pinch of that and hint of this, and beautifully living out my own recipe, adding and taking away with each step I take forward.

As I was composing this blog post my friend, Jennifer, sent me this via text messaging. I laughed at the coincidence; but I also laughed at how short this recipe is compared to mine. So typical of me to over-think, over-analyze and over-process.

Today, on this day of giving thanks, I am MOST grateful for the last six months of my life. I have learned so much about myself, my value and my voice. None of which would be possible without Jesus, Scripture and my friends and family. May you all be so blessed.

Cowboy Junkies Sing Me Into Santa Fe

2010-11-20T22:25:00.000-06:00

This was the sunset my first evening in Santa Fe...........................

Heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to her when he smiles. -Velvet Underground

Somedays I Feel Like This....Today is One of Them

2010-11-19T18:20:00.000-06:00

Lorelai: You know, there are very few times in my life when I find myself sitting around thinking, "I wish I was married." But today...I'm...I'm happy, you know? I like my life, I like my friends, I like my stuff, my time, my space, my TV.

Luke: Yeah, sure.

Lorelai: But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner. Someone to pick up the slack, wait for the cable guy, make ME coffee in the morning.....

I'm Gonna Rant a Little Bit

2010-11-16T21:39:00.000-06:00

There are several themes that recur in my dreams. These symbols, as I like to consider them, have haunted my dreams since my childhood. One prominent symbol is a plane crash. (I like to attribute all these symbols to anxiety and/or perceived loss of control....my dream life is wicked and consistent as day turns to night.) I am not paralyzed by the idea of flying; but it certainly does conjure up a serious amount of trepidation. However, I refuse to allow the fear ground me (pun clearly intended).

So, here's the thing. If you want to "full body scan" me....go right ahead. And "full body scan" the guy in front of me and the lady behind me. I do not care if you see my "internal parts." I do not even care if you analyze my "internal parts" or laugh about my "internal parts" with your co-workers in the "remote viewing room." I will tell you all about my "internal parts" and the surprises you may or may not find floatin' around in there. Do what you have to....just make sure I am safe. The image, from what I can tell, is rather cloudy and non-descript. I certainly don't think it is any image that anyone might get their kicks from viewing. Hell....you can sell a picture of my "non-descript," "cloudy," "unrecognizable" body parts to some seedy internet guy....I don't care. Why do I not care....because ultimately I know I am "safe" on that airplane AND you can't recognize me in that photo to save your life. So...scan away. And people need to find something "real" to focus on. There...that's my rant! And yes...I WILL be body scanned in less that 5 days. And guess what...I don't even care! I feel much better now.....

Listen, you pin head. You should be kissing the ground she walks on. Why that sweet girl lets you within a hundred miles of her is beyond me; but she does. You are the luckiest man on the planet to have a girl like that looking after you, caring about you. And if you say so much as one unkind word to her, I will personally break every bone in your body. You got me? -Luke

Kirk: It's unorthodox.

Lorelai: That's because I'm not orthodox. I am a liberal with a touch of reform and a smidgen of zippity pow.

Who wants to win some amazing, amazing, amazing prizes? You do! I know! Here's how this works....you (generously and graciously) give me 10 dollars and I will hand you one of these:

Can't read it? Let me enlarge the text for you....

Help support the mission of The Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas by purchasing one, two, five, twenty, one hundred, two hundred raffle tickets. Call me or email me and we will make the arrangements. Oh...and don't forget to ask your friends!

Eventually....Some Mistakes can be Forgiven

2010-11-15T18:12:00.000-06:00

I'm not mad anymore...well, that's not true. I won't be....eventually. -Luke

I am not perfect, okay? People make mistakes. I mean, Gwyneth Paltrow dyed her hair that dark brown which was very unflattering. I mean if she's not perfect, how do you expect me to be? -Lorelai

Staring at a Blank Screen

2010-11-14T18:29:00.000-06:00

For the first time in the life of this blog I am staring at this screen with absolutely no idea what to write; or "borrow" as I have been doing for some time (as you may have noticed).

I keep starting sentences and then immediately hitting the "delete" key and watch my words and feelings erase-in a backward motion.

This blog is about daily celebration. Here's what I celebrate today....

Amazing grace
My support system-friends and family (and the kitties)
Answered prayers
Compassionate caregivers
Books, Pandora and Gilmore Girls
Re-defining my value system-as it pertains to me
Understanding forgiveness-both given and received
Laying my burdens down
The power of a child
My life, my breath, my health

I want to thank everyone to whom I have told my story and they have been brave enough to say, "I know...I've been there. I love you and I pray for you." And an even greater thanks to those of you who "haven't been there" but didn't judge me; instead quietly extended hope. That...I think....is the greatest lesson I will take from all of this. We can not judge because we do not walk in each other's shoes. But most of all, we can not judge because we have been asked and warned not to; lest we be.

As I enter this season of giving thanks I am humbled by all that I am able to give thanks for. How undeserving this life is of God's sweet grace and yet He gives it to me; a pure gift with no expectations.

Every relationship requires a big, honkin' leap of faith. -Rory

I'm not being evasive. I am trying to be mysterious so 100 years from now you will still find me attractive. -Lorelai

No one invited you! Get out, right now, before I go Bonaducci on your ass! -Paris

Yeah, that's me, I'm fast. I am the perfect storm of caffeine and genetics. -Lorelai

People do things. It's not pretty, it's not Disney; but it's the real world. -Sookie

So, yesterday I had to let go of the bumper because it hurts too bad. It hurts too bad! -Lorelai

www.thepowerofhalf.com

Currently I am reading The Power of Half for my December book club selection. The Power of Half is a non fictional account of a family who literally, democratically and thoughtfully agree to give up "half" their "wealth" (for lack of a better term) in order to make an impact on individuals who might benefit from their means and their sacrifice. I am moved by the fact that the idea was conceived by their 14 year old daughter who, while sitting at a stop light with her father, saw a homeless man to the left of their car and a black Mercedes to their right. She told her father, "Dad...if that man had a less nice car, that man there could have a meal." And so sprung forth the idea....

Goodnight dear friends! May you all enjoy a wonderful week. I am looking forward to mine...compared to recent weeks...this one will be relatively calm. Hmph...turns out I did have something to say, after all.

The Worst of the Storm Has Passed....

2010-11-13T15:08:00.000-06:00

And after the storm,

I run and run as the rains come

And I look up, I look up,

on my knees and out of luck,

I look up.

Night has always pushed up day

You must know life to see decay

But I won't rot, I won't rot

Not this mind and not this heart,

I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand

And we stood tall,

And remembered our own land,

What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew

I saw exactly what was true

But oh no more.

That's why I hold,

That's why I hold with all I have.

That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.

Well I guess I'll just go home,

Oh God knows where.

Because death is just so full and mine so small.

Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

-Mumford and Sons

Lovin' this New Album

2010-11-07T18:46:00.000-06:00

www.theblackkeys.com

Someone Was Procrastinating at Work Today.......

2010-11-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

I just can't stop using my "Photo Booth" program.......

Sweet and Peppery

2010-11-02T19:35:00.000-05:00

Last March I purchased several herbs with the intent to "grow my own food." After re-potting and several attempts at relocating, my basil plant flourished. I was given specific directives by the AMAZINGLY helpful staff at Shades of Green and I have abided by them diligently. They told me basil does not appreciate temperatures under 68 degrees. Given the (however tardy) change in weather the time has come to create something with the copious leaves I was blessed with.

Rather than freeze the leaves, I decided to make pesto. I used a recipe from Everyday Italian by Giada de Laurentiis (the second sexiest woman in television...is it weird they are all chefs?).

www.giadadelaurentiis.com

I doubled the recipe since I had over 4 cups of basil leaves. Admittedly...I over-toasted the pine nuts by about a minute or two but it was not terribly detrimental to the overall flavor.

Next time I will be more mindful about picking the leaves, washing the leaves and allowing them to dry a little more thoroughly. I tried to soak all the water off them by dabbing them over and over. They flattened out quite a bit and I just felt sad to see their fluffy spring-i-ness eliminated. In the end it makes no difference. However, I imagine excess water could do some damage to the overall finished product.

My food processor and I are slowly entering into a special relationship...similar to the one I've got going on with the Kitchenaid Mix Master. I grated the Parmigiana myself and it was so fresh and buttery...it was a perfect final addition to the recipe.

I used part of it over a block of cream cheese for an event I hosted at CBCST last week. I also lightly coated whole wheat pasta and used it in my crispy chicken wrap. It was delicious...if I do say so myself and I TRULY believe the fresh aspect made it 100% yummier! The best part was the satisfaction of growing, creating AND consuming! Being "green-ish" DOES, in fact, feel pretty sexy!

Fisher Willow

2010-11-01T21:22:00.000-05:00

This weekend I watched a film called The Loss of a Diamond Teardrop. This film is based on a screenplay originally written by Tennessee Williams in 1957. I LOVED this film. I needed a period piece and I needed a beautifully crafted woman of all shades of gray to relate to this weekend. Bryce Dallas Howard payed a tender homage to Fisher Willow in her performance of a terribly wounded, majestically outspoken, uniquely flawed and deservedly insecure woman. Fisher Willow both simultaneously stole and spoke to the deepest recesses and corners of my heart. I read that reviews were terrible. I am happy I pushed aside the hype because I deeply enjoyed the movie. And I felt as if the film were created with the subtle nuances of the "stage." Maybe that is why the critics didn't like it as a "movie." As a "play"...it worked beautifully.

www.comingsoon.net

Jason: Hey! I didn't know you were going to be here.

Lorelai: Oh well, the white rabbit ran by, I chased him down the hole and here I am.

Scene: Phone ringing

Lorelai: Hello.

Emily: It's a complete disaster!!!!!!

Lorelai: My existence?

Emily: Not everything is about you, Lorelai.

Lorelai: Oh.

Honestly, Lorelai! It's not your looks that keep them away. You should think about that. -Emily

Nothing is as beautiful as when she believes in me. -Ben Harper

To Wise, Willful, Wonderful Women

2010-10-16T15:32:00.000-05:00

Last night I had the pleasure of spending the evening with my friend Najla. I call her a "friend" because we are not technically related. "Un-technically" speaking she is my sister. We are both only children and have been friends for 32 years...yes...32 years! Her husband and step son were away so we had the evening to reconnect in the way that women often do....over back to back showings of Pretty in Pink and endless hours of conversation. (There were some cherry sours thrown in there for good measure!)

We had some pretty honest and frank talk about where we both "are" now and where we both "have been." We talked about how we wouldn't trade in any of our mistakes, sorrows, doubts, heart aches, our "twenties" for anything in the world because they have made us the unique individuals we are today. We discussed how it is often so easy to "miss out" on the best parts of ourselves because we are so busy criticizing our most genuine efforts. I think we both agreed that's why we have friends...to remind us!

www.curlygirldesign.com

On my ride home I remembered something I heard on last week's episode of Mad Men. "If you don't like what the people are saying, change the conversation." I laughed because I thought "If I don't like what the 'voices' are saying, I should change the conversation." And by the "voices" I don't mean Sybil...I just mean the internal voice. I know I have the internal voice and while the voice can be sweet an gentle, it is mostly critical, nagging and mean. Apparently the solution is "to change the conversation."

And as if by serendipity I heard this song on the radio. I changed the pronouns as I was listening and thought about writing it down as a letter to myself. Kind of like what the 35 year old Patty would tell the 20 year old Patty....

Dear Patty,

You took your love and you took it down.
You climbed a mountain and you turned around.
And you saw your reflection in the snow covered hill, 'til the landslide brought you down.

Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within your heart rise above?
Can you sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can you handle the seasons of your life?

You don't know.

Well, you've been afraid of changing because you have built your life around you.
But time makes you bolder, children get older and you're getting older, too.

So take this love, take it down.
If you climb a mountain and you turn around.
If you see your reflection in the snow covered hills, well the landslide will bring it down.

Love always,
Patty

Look Who's Back on TV

2010-10-13T22:02:00.000-05:00

Look who is back on American television! Sunday mornings at 8am my DVR diligently records Nigella Kitchen. (Because let's face it...the odds are I am not awake!) I love, love, love, love Nigella Lawson. I mostly love her because she is a devilish little wordsmith...and then there is the whole "domestic goddess" thing I can ONLY hope to aspire to! Hands down...Nigella Lawson is the sexiest woman in all television!

Photo from www.foodnetwork.com

And, oh yeah, don't EVEN challenge me to find a parallel....

Nigella just made a raisin cake that looks so good the fact that raisins make me gag just became irrelevant! -Rory

So tired from all the fun food, drink and conversation....must sign off and go to sleep. But...how sweet is it that tomorrow is THURSDAY!?!?!?! I have BIG plans this weekend. But they are sooooooo on the "down low"....I can't even tell you about them! (Gotcha thinkin', don't I?)

Tahoe Holga Photos

2010-10-12T20:26:00.000-05:00

I am ridiculously tardy! Our Lake Tahoe trip was in July and I JUST took my Holga photos to be developed last week. I collected them today and with as much patience as a 4 year old on Christmas morning I tore open the envelope to see what I had gotten! (That is the best part of the Holga...you NEVER know what you are going to get!) I used color film on this trip and I played with the number of exposures. Some of these have been cropped.

Pine cones, pine cones EVERYWHERE! (Apparently they hurt when they land on your head.)

Our fearless tour guide mapping out our bike route.

View from back porch.

The chalet is owned by Texans.

Another view from back porch.

I love the wispiness of the tree tops...I think I clicked the shutter twice on this one.

What are you thinking about?

And because today is the final day in our week long celebration.....

Richard: Say, are you and Rory "wireless?"

Lorelai: Oh no, we're pretty wired most of the time.

Richard: Emily, I am going to "google" you.

Emily: You most certainly are NOT going to "google" me!

To figure out EXACTLY what happened you'd have to dig up Freud himself and have him work on me full time. -Lorelai

Jason: Crystal is just a friend.

Lorelai: A friend named CRYSTAL! Who are you, Hugh Hefner?

Friends! It is THAT time of the year again! Silent Auction time! Talk to me.....people! If you know me, like me, love me....you WILL participate in some form or fashion. So...what will it be...item donation? Volunteering for the Gala, prior to the Gala....? I just came home from a very productive meeting and I have the major GALA EXCITEMENT BUG! I will keep you all VERY posted. But...for now you can help in the following way....

This will be an ENORMOUS help to Silent Auction. Thank you to Christina Welch for supporting Silent Auction and CBCST again, this year! If there is a piece of Stella & Dot that you just can't live without...here is the perfect opportunity to adorn yourself for a good cause! Directions are included above and please note the online party is open from today until October 19!

Sweet dreams, dear friends! This week is flyin' by and I am lovin' it!